“Marry Me” is a new rom-com, released just in time for Valentine’s Day 2022. If you haven’t seen it, you might be wondering if it’s worth your time. If you’re a Christian, you might be wondering if the movie will reflect your values. Those are both good questions.
It’s a higher improbable story, of course—basically a modern fairy tale. In the trailer we see superstar Kat Valdez, played by real-life superstar Jennifer Lopez, moments away from marrying a fellow superstar during a concert before a live audience. Kat begins to melt down when she learns her fiancé has cheated on her, so she points to a man in the audience holding up a sign that says “marry me” and says, “Yes, I’ll marry you.” The two are married on stage before they even exchange names, and then the real story begins.
Marry Me is meant to be a love story, and the two do seem to fall in love as the movie progresses. But their lives are so different, and the conflicts so real, I found myself wondering if they would still be together in the end or if they would find the best way to show love would be to let each go.
I won’t spoil the end for you here in case you do decide to see it.
What I didn’t like
The movie is rated PG-13 “for some language and suggestive material.” To be honest, I didn’t even notice the objectionable language. The suggestive material was no more than you would see on television shows written for adults and at pop-star concerts. I could have lived without the sexually provocative dance moves in the concert scenes, but I don’t go to those types of concerts because I’m not comfortable with it.
One thing I really objected to was putting dancers in sexy outfits resembling the habits of nuns and singing about going to church while performing in a very non-Sunday morning type of way. Selling a song with sex is one thing. Selling it by mocking the church, or any religion, is another thing, and I didn’t appreciate it.
There is other suggestive material in the movie, as you might expect from a PG-13 romantic comedy but nothing that I found highly objectionable.
What I did like
I decided to review this movie but there was something about it I did like. While it’s billed as a love story, this is really a story about simple acts of kindness. Kindness can lead to love, but at the beginning of the movie no one has love on the mind. The fairy tale begins because one person sees another person in pain and reacts with kindness. More moments of kindness follow, and those moments made the movie worth seeing for me.
There are a number of poignant moments, but the most important one is when Kat sees Charlie in the audience holding a “marry me” sign. The sign isn’t his. He’s holding it for a friend. But the sign is only part of what draws Kat’s attention to this unassuming man in the audience. As Kat is opening her heart and sharing her pain over so many bad decisions, people in the audience are shouting over her, whispering to their neighbors, or recording her for their social media. Only one person is really listening to her, and that’s Charlie.
Can I be like Charlie?
I wonder how often I am like Charlie. Do I really listen to other people—especially people I don’t personally know? When I see someone on TV, or read their tweets or blog posts, do I think of them as real human beings who are trying to find their way in this crazy world just like I am? Do I give them the benefit of the doubt? Would I help them with their problems if I could?
I would like to be more like Charlie. I would like to remember that we’re all humans with equal dignity and deserving of equal respect. Even those political commentators I can’t stand to listen to and those pop stars who mock my religious beliefs. I don’t have to agree with them. I certainly don’t have to marry them. But I can refrain from attacking them or belittling them.
Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves, and he gave a very broad definition of who are neighbors are. They are the people all around us. People who have needs, and hopes, and problems, and fears, just like we do. People who sometimes have melt-downs and just need someone to really hear them.
Can you be someone’s Charlie today?